Friday, April 24, 2015

1 Month Ross

We made it! Our little  boy is now 4 weeks old. I knew it would fly, as much as I didn't want to believe it. I'll start by recording his birth story since I haven't talked about it anywhere. I was scheduled to be induced on March 25. That morning felt like Christmas morning, waiting for that call to head on over was like waiting to go into the living room to see what Santa brought. I had butterflies. So they eventually called and said to come in at 10am. Woohoo! We left Graham with my parents and drove over to AF hospital. Things went as normally as they could, I got hooked up and then chilled for a while. I had dilated to a 3 all on my own which was exciting (With Graham I wasn't even dilated in the hospital, and my water even broke!) They started a small dose of Pitocin and I breathed through mild-ish contractions. My midwife planned to break my water but we all decided to wait for epidural because it was too painful for them to try and the contractions were getting stronger. So I got the epidural around 230 pm I think. That felt nice and all, but I was a little concerned that I could still feel when they were doing stuff and it even hurt a little. So I gave myself another little dose to see if that would numb even more. Well around 4 I started feeling pressure like I needed to go...and it started to hurt bad. WHA? Why am I feeling pain?! Long story short, the epidural got me through the contractions but for some reason, and this is exactly what happened with Graham too, I cant seem to get enough medicine or something to completely take the pain away, so here's to my second natural birth that I so was not expecting. Hard hard hard! Well thankfully, you forget as soon as they're born, Ross came out and it was glorious. I felt so happy and it was miraculous seeing another child of ours. So began our lives with two kids. I don't know about you but I love and cherish the hospital stay. It was fun and so special. So that's the story. Giving birth is just downright awesome (aside from the pain) and I feel so blessed to have brought about a healthy boy. Now, moving on. About our little Ross...
                                                     His first four weeks he woke up once in the night, varied from 3 to 5am
                                                          (Last two nights he was up every two hours, fingers crossed it's just a                                                         growth spurt) Ross and I conquered nursing about a week and a half after he was born. I never nursed with Graham so this was all new to me. I had no idea how hard it would be pain wise, and I was sad to think to myself how much I hated it. I'd be told it would get better, but that was so hard to believe. I would literally be scared to breastfeed. I'd have to hold my breath and take the plunge, then cry and cry.  I'm so glad that's over. What a difficult few weeks. Now it's starting to become enjoyable:)               
                                                           Sleeps swaddled n his rock n' play sleeper chair (I swear by those,                                                                they're awesome) next to my bedside and takes a binkie depending                                                              on his mood, gags on it when he is not in the mood
He weighs a little over 8 lbs and is already filling out his newborn clothes!
                                                           Graham "likes" him, he doesn't pay too close attention, but when he                                                             does feel like noticing him, he smiles and touches him, it's cute                                                                       enough.


Today I did not want to be a mom. After having woke up every two hours with the baby then not sleeping in and knowing that I was facing another day of mothering two, I felt exhausted and angry. I wish I could tell my future self (a few hours from the time of frustration) that I'd be over it and will have regained energy and not feel tired anymore because man, when you're in the moment, it's so hard to look ahead. You feel trapped, alone, and sorry for yourself. So here I am, hours later from this morning when I was frustrated and tired, and I'm not tired anymore, and much happier. There's always a light at the end of the dark tunnel. I just have to remind myself I will get there! Graham still naps a solid 3 hour in the afternoon and it's great. I admit I count down to it all morning long, especially when he's acting up. I'm even able to get a nap in most days. We have so much fun parenting two. It really is a joy. The hardships of parenting are so small a problem compared to the enormity of  the outcome and blessings. You have to look at the big picture. We have two healthy beautiful sons, and it's awesome! Here's to another and another and another and more and even more, never ending amounts of being a mom. I love it, and I feel blessed everyday. Happy 1 month to Ross!

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